so happy mothers' day all. hahaha. well this year i celebrate mothers' day with my grandma (again). well, we do it everyday though :) sooo. what did u give to your mother? my sister gave my mom a bonia watch and i wanted to gave mom a card but i havent finished it though ._. because my printer aint working and no one is taking me to the photo studio to print photos ._. so maybe i'll have to postpone it till next week xD

so what did mom to do me? well. i don't really have that much memory of me and my mom when i was a kid. all i know is that when i was 1 and a half years old, i broke my arm and mom took me to the hospital. the doctor advised me to have a xray. there's some kind of a light (?) used for xray that is radiation. in order to prevent the radiation, i must wear like an armor (gah) that weighs about 10-15 kg. that is heavy okay? so.. this is what happened or maybe what's in my memory. so i was crying and the doctor was carrying me to the xray room and i was crying.. then they laid me down on a machine. something like a photocopy machine :)) so the room was veeeeeeery big and there is a.. i don't know if he's a doctor or just an ordinary nurse. well, at that time the doctor haven't gave me the armor (--') i must wear to prevent the radiation and mom was like asking the doctor for the armor (it's not one. idk what it's called) then the doctor gave me one but he DIDNT gave my mom one and mom was standing right beside me and i guess she got the radiation.. 3 years ago when i was 10.. erh.. almost 11 years old my mom went to singapore cause she has been  coughing for weeks. my dad took her to national hospital of Singapore (NUH) and the doctor that my parents chose was a professor. that professor said my mom that she had a cancer and it's on the 2nd stage... it was my birthday when mom told me that. but i was too young to care about that. but silently, i cried in my room. she didn't knew i guess.. and i was thinking back again.. maybe she had cancer because of me. because of that xray thing. because of the radiation.. i... made the whole thing happen... but praise the Lord.. the cancer was cured :) but :( the cancer may reoccur and by the time mom's cancer reoccur, the doctors may not be able to save her any more like what they did before.. kay. idw to continue it.

so what did mom gave me? she's different from dad. dad gives me everything i wanted.. well almost everything. and mom? she dont want to spoil me and doesnt give me everything i wanted. but im totally spoiled right now though. haahha. she loves me soo much. i know it. but i dont really love her. well let's compare her with my dad. i love my dad more! i know im bad :( but i just cant help my self. i fight a lot with her. just like what i said in my few previous posts. i can never sit down and talk to her properly. i mean like politely with no talking back. i cant do that. seriously it's like.. it's sooo difficult to talk to her properly without talking back. i just cant do that. there will always be a fight after a talk. but everything she talk is almost right. well, she knows what's best for me. she let me have piano tuitions, violin, vocals, school subjects tuitions, arithmetic, and so on cause she wanted me to be useful in the church and in the community. i hated tuitions sooo much cause she was like forcing me. when i was in year 1, i was 12 back then, i wake up at 6. go to school at 7.30. came home at 16. i had tuition had from 16.30 until 18 and headed back home by 18.30 i have another tuition and that last tuition last for one and a half hour. so that make me go home at 20 and after reaching home i must practice my piano until 20.30 after that i'll bath and play computer for a while and after that sleep. that's my daily routine. that schedule is for monday - friday. tiring right? that lasted for a year or so. but i dont have such a schedule anymore :) 

so mom.. she talked to me properly. i talk back rudely. she scolds me. i shouted at her. she shout at me back. i shout at her back too. then i cry cause she shout at me. then she'll say 'dont cry!' i'll cry even more. after that i'll go to my room and she'll leave me alone. after that she'll come in and talk to me again. she ask me. was i wrong. and i will say yes. then she'll ask me again. what did i do until she scold me. i'll remain silent. she told me what mistake did i made. gees. mom :) she is....... well... she's my mom. xD the word i love you is sooo mushy that i dont even said that to her today :) well, i didnt said a happy mothers' day to her today. wow :o never mind. she knows i love her. so ah. my mom blackberry massaged me she said "go to bed" ._. okay. i'll go to bed now. good night ;)